Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Maa: death, inspiration, unrest

On 17th December, I read this mail from Gargi that said,

"my grandma's sinking.

i'm not feeling anything particularly about it.
other than wishing her a good death

was feeling bad days before.

Me too hoped she had a peaceful death. Two days later when I reached Kerala, I realized that Maa died a day before I read that mail.

Now she writes on her blog (after a long silence):

"she left me without a void.
she fills me.
just fills me..

not as memories,
but as a kind of inspiration.
(she'd written in her diary
that was published somewhere
"inspiration is a mere reason
to hide your own emptiness.." )
i agree,
and i agree to this too
that i'm empty.
i need to fill it up.

wanted to write something about her.
she seems vast.huge.unfathomable.

True, she is such an inspiration. Ma for some, Comrade Mandakini Narayanan for some. I have been trying to read up on her, and every time I am left with a feeling of wanting to know more about her. More about this world. More about people. More about myself.

[News on Mandakini's death: Times of India; The Hindu story: A revolutionary to the core]

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