On 17th December, I read this mail from Gargi that said,
"my grandma's sinking.
i'm not feeling anything particularly about it.
other than wishing her a good death
was feeling bad days before."
Me too hoped she had a peaceful death. Two days later when I reached Kerala, I realized that Maa died a day before I read that mail.
Now she writes on her blog (after a long silence):
"she left me without a void.
she fills me.
just fills me..
not as memories,
but as a kind of inspiration.
(she'd written in her diary
that was published somewhere
"inspiration is a mere reason
to hide your own emptiness.." )
and i agree to this too
that i'm empty.
i need to fill it up.
wanted to write something about her.
she seems vast.huge.unfathomable.
True, she is such an inspiration. Ma for some, Comrade Mandakini Narayanan for some. I have been trying to read up on her, and every time I am left with a feeling of wanting to know more about her. More about this world. More about people. More about myself.
[News on Mandakini's death: Times of India; The Hindu story: A revolutionary to the core]